Grate Again: The Truth Behind America’s Most Scandalous Slogan
Washington- You know the slogan. Make America Great Again. What you don’t know is the story behind it.
It was a brisk New York afternoon. Donald Trump was at Trump Tower having a meeting with his newly hired political staff getting ready to announce his candidacy for President of the United States. But ‘The Donald’ simply couldn’t focus. He was hungry and anxiously awaiting the grilled cheese he just ordered. As his strategist kept telling him that his campaign lacked a message, he simply nodded and said, “that’s why I hired you people.”
Before anyone could respond, his food arrived. He took one bite and ordered the cook to come back. He looked him dead in the eye and asked, “Did you use pre-shredded cheese?” The chef sheepishly answered yes. Trump lost it. According to one of Trumps early staffers, “I’ve never seen any one get so upset about cheese… it was that moment I knew he would be President.” See what most people don’t know is that Donald Trump is a cheese connoisseur, a self-proclaimed ‘fromage vivant’ who demands perfection out of his cheeses.
“He feels pre-shredded cheese affects taste and is indicative of a lack of character” one staffer says.
As the chef leaves with his tail between his legs, Donald starts venting about how we’ve gotten lazy and like to outsource work. Then he uttered a sentence that would forever become part of American rhetoric, “we need to make Americans grate again.”
Trumps campaign manager describes it as a “… lightning bolt that hit the room. We were in awe. It was so simple.”
The rest is as they say history. What’s more interesting is that his entire foreign policy is based around his cheese obsession. Ever heard of a good cheese coming out of China or the Middle East? Neither has Trump. Do you like Mexican cheese? Too bad, Trump hates queso fresco and has publicly denounced it on several occasions.
We’re entering a new age of politics. Our elected officials no longer have to play by the rules or even be qualified. It is the American dream incarnate. They simply need to want it more and be passionate. Passionate enough to Live Brie… or Die.
*This article is purely satirical and solely for entertainment.